You Have to Know What It Is to Feel Good
You have to know what it is to feel good, and you have to want it.
I've been trying to get back to feeling good since fracturing my foot. But it's been all fits and starts. I feel good, over work myself, end up in pain, and have to back off. I haven't been able to sleep great either. I'm all thrown off.
I fractured my foot two weeks before my wedding. Two days after our wedding we went on a two week honeymoon. My in-laws, who watched Creek while we were away, stayed with us for 10 days after we got back. In total it was about 6 weeks of being completely out of my routine and off my game. A lot of eating out, a lot of coffee (our honeymoon was in Sicily), and very minimal activity to balance it all out.
I have been wanting to feel good again, but I just have not been able to dial it back in and do the things I know I need to do. The longer you let it go, the harder it is to get it back. But I know what it is to feel good, and it's not this. I want to get back to where I was before fracturing my foot, before our wedding, when people were regularly complimenting me and asking what I'm doing differently. Funny enough I wasn't doing that much. Maybe the least amount of exercise, and the most lenient I've been with my diet I can remember. But, I had found pretty good balance. Until I didn't.
I was sleeping really well. Not over training. Not being overly restrictive in my diet, indulging when I wanted to. Spending a lot of time outside. Spending a lot of time around people I enjoy. Each one of those things has been impacted by my injury and my time away. Finding that balance again, trying to wrestle all those pieces back into place so I can feel good, is what I'm working on now.
I've been in a bad loop not sleeping. I can fall asleep fast but when I wake up in the middle of the night, usually because of Creek, I can't fall back asleep the way I normally could. I toss and turn for hours sometimes until I eventually pass out from sheer exhaustion. I sleep until my dog wakes me up again, usually before 6. That's not like me, so I've been trying to diagnose what's happening.
I think I'm having too much coffee, averaging 3 cups per day, with one cup after my normal caffeine cut off time of 12 - 1 pm. I also think that I'm just not as tired as I usually am because my foot is preventing me from being as active as I'd want to be. And so far when I've amped up the activity levels it's left me in pain. My foot's ok, but my lower back on my right side, the muscle under my left shoulder blade, and my right hamstring and psoas have all revolted by spasming unrelentingly. A symptom of 6 weeks in a walking boot.
The other possibility is I've been having too much salt, which, like coffee, is a loop I sometimes get caught in. I've been having 2 "electrolyte" drinks per day, despite being uncharacteristically inactive. That's in addition to salting my food, which I sometimes have a heavy hand in doing. I think it's too much. Too much salt in my diet produces the same effect as too much caffeine: waking up in the middle of the night with my heart racing.
Since that's been my diagnosis I've been making some changes. Only one cup of coffee in the morning until I get back to sleeping regularly. Once I do I'll go back to two, if I want. And none after noon. Same goes for my electrolytes. Until I'm able to sleep again I'll limit it to one electrolyte drink. If I train hard, if I'm able to train hard, and I'm craving another than I will allow it. But I will still be conscious of how much I'm salting my food. Opting for bland meals for awhile.
I can't do anything about my activity level until my foot heals, but there are less intense workouts I can do until I'm capable of more intense work. Walks. Yoga. Even stretching and foam rolling leading up to bed time will help usher me to sleep.
I like to feel good. It is the number one reason I train the way I do, eat the way I do, and maintain a focus on my health. It's not just to achieve optimal lifespan and longevity, but it's so that in the present moment I feel as good as possible. It's a feeling I know well, and it's a feeling I want.